Apologies to Greenday

This guy knew about failure and heartache. His "why" kept him going.

Arachnophobia cured for my birthday

Conquer your fear in under 2 minutes

Fear is a basic human emotion. It was wired into our systems for a beneficial purpose—to signal us in times of danger and prepare us physically so we could accomplish what is necessary for survival. When warranted, fear can be one of our most vital resources. But as Helen Keller said, "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold." These days, fear has become big business rather than a helpful, valuable resource. We live in a climate fuelled by fear. The media manipulates fear to earn higher ratings with headlines such as "Will Ebola Hit Your Neighbourhood?" while merchandisers tap our fear to sell products. Politicians stir up fear to accumulate votes, religious leaders employ fear to keep flocks in line, and parents wield fear to keep kids from misbehaving. Fear is woven into the fabric of our lives, perhaps affecting modern adults even more than it did our caveman ancestors. A recent article in the New York Observer recently claimed that “fear is the new normal.”[1] Fear influences the choices we make. Yet making decisions motivated by fear is flawed, if not dangerous; it will never lead to the healthy, fulfilling lives we crave. What is the primary motivating factor in your life? Here are 6 clues that you may be fuelled by fear not freedom: Fear sees only the downside. While nearly every choice has an upside and a downside, someone in a fearful state only identifies the worst that could happen. Considering a blind date? It might be awkward or boring. Have an opportunity for a new job? You might not be qualified because it's too difficult. Like the addictive gambler who sees only wealth and riches as he approaches the roulette wheel, fear sees only failure and pain. Fear doesn’t let you stop to think it through. Fear tells you to react immediately. If a wooly mammoth were chasing an early human ancestor, this response could save a life. But today, when you’re trying to decide whether to accept a lowball offer on your house or to have a particular medical procedure, stepping back to analyze the options is a good thing. Fear tells us to avoid anything new or unknown. Whereas fear used to appear only in response to real threats to survival, now its alarm sounds whenever we stick a toe outside our “comfort zone.” Fear prefers that we stay in a familiar—even if painful—situation, rather than step into the unknown. For example, fear could dictate that we stay in an abusive relationship or dead-end job. Fear constricts rather than expands who we are. Fear tells us not to smile at strangers or speak our opinions too loudly. Instead of pushing our boundaries, fear encourages us to avoid any potential failure or rejection. For example, we should not write that book, ask for that date, or apply for that promotion. If it was up to fear, we would hide in bed instead of growing into who we could be. Fear obscures your intuition. Great decision-makers often talk about trusting their “gut instincts.” There’s no room for that small, still voice when fear is present. All you can hear are the spiraling thoughts coursing through your mind. When you’re consumed with fear, gut instincts are hard if not impossible to recognize. Fear often keeps us from making any decision at all. A wise person once said, “Choose a path or a path will be chosen for you.” Fear is the root of some people's "decidophobia," the fear of making decisions. While most individuals do not freeze in the face of any choice, fear keeps many second-guessing themselves into avoiding decisions whenever they can. Of course, no decision at all becomes a decision! If fear dictates your decisions, what can you do? First, recognize when you’re coming from fear using the checklist above. Give yourself time and space to hear other voices besides fear’s in any decision. Consider making a concrete list of pros and cons in a given situation. Then, wait until you’re in a better place to make whatever decision you need to make. In Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), we call that better state a “resourceful state,” when you feel strong, capable and clear. If the fear persists, get help to release it. Fear that is chronic and unwarranted stems from a previous “root cause” event that is captive in the unconscious. Using something like the Mental Emotional Release® process can rid you of that inappropriate fear and allow you to make empowered decisions. Make your next decision from a place of freedom. As Marcus Aurelius said, "It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live." Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, James has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit. Download his free nlp eCourse here. To reach him, email info@Huna.com(link sends e-mail) or visit his blog. [1] http://observer.com/2015/04/fear-is-the-new-normal/ Source

Performers, like myself, spend a lot of time in potentially nervous situations. Standing in front of a crowd who hang on everything you deliver is pretty intense, and in the studio you have an extremely short time slot to come up with some kind of magical essence that will move people. Those who perceive this as a positive experience can do it over and over again. Those who see it negatively will most likely crash and burn (as many creative people do). The pressure can be immense, but there is one simple thing that can make all the difference to anyone who finds themselves in a nervous situation…the perception of fear and excitement. Your heart races, you feel butterflies flapping wildly in your gut, your breathing intensifies, you feel a sense of heightened sensitivity as your eyes widen and you limbs quiver with anticipation. Fear or excitement? It’s both. The only difference between fear and excitement is the way you think about it. Teaching singers to deal with nervousness is something i really enjoy, because i like a good mind challenge. Most of the things that get in our way are to do with how we look at things, ourselves, and situations, and there’s a real sense of satisfaction when a performer can break through a hurdle having met the challenge head-on…literally. So lets look at the example of 2 singers waiting for an audition. Sally is nervous. That’s what she’s been telling herself all day (“God, I’m sooo nervous. I wish i wasn’t nervous. I can’t handle this nervousness!”). She sits in the waiting area to be called, wringing her hands, trying to breath in and out like her mum used to tell her before the school play would start as a kid). She’s is trying to relax, tries to distract herself from even thinking about her cold hands and her body’s shaking by disengaging from the whole idea. “Don’t think about it”, she tells herself. “Think about other things”. She withdraws within herself in an attempt to escape. Jen is also waiting to be called in. She’s been bubbling over most of the day. She was so excited this morning that she went for a short run before she got ready, just to settle herself. She’s been thinking about the audition all day, humming out her songs to herself, playing it over in her mind as her butterflies flutter away in her stomach, but she’s been telling herself “I’m soooooo excited! This is going to be so great. I’m so lucky to be here!”. She didn’t believe herself at first, tempted to called it “nerves”, but she resisted. In the waiting area she feels the excitement level increasing. She paces the floor, bouncing on the spot every now and then to discharge her adrenaline, and keeps herself focused an in a positive state of mind. Her body is doing the same things that Sally’s is, but Jen keeps moving and keeps up her positive mind speak. The two have totally different experiences with their audition. Sally has spent so much of her time trying to distance herself from thinking about the audition, that she appears disinterested in it. She has been trying to keep her body so still by attempting to relax, that as soon as she goes to sing, her cells fire up from the build-up of chemicals and she loses vocal control. She gets really down on herself and has given up before she’s even half-way through. She leaves in tears, gutted by another sense of failure. Jan bounds in to the room, and her energy is immediately obvious. She’s been releasing her adrenaline all day, so she maintains a lot of vocal control. She brings to her audition a sense of excitement and passion, and though she makes mistakes, she keeps positive and moves on, so well in fact that some of the panel don’t even notice her errors. She leaves with a feeling of success. The flight-or-fight response is our body’s way of preparing us for engagement. Whether you call it excitement or nervousness, it’s the same physical thing. Chemicals get released into our cells to prepare them with optimum power and strength, and are there to save your life. One of the mistakes people make when they have these feelings is to try and calm them down, but our body is geared up for battle, not for meditation. If you focus instead on releasing the pressure physically (jump up and down, run around the block, etc), and tell yourself over and over how excited you are (even if at first you don’t believe it), you can make a huge difference to your experience. You can then learn to USE that amazing zing and turn it into an opportunity to deliver in a way you can’t when you’re in your comfort zone. Harnessing this energy instead of denying it can turn a good delivery into something quite remarkable. Are fear and excitement the same? Try it out for yourself, and you be the judge. Source https://www.redbubble.com/people/taniarose/journal/3249929-are-fear-and-excitement-the-same

The fear of failure and the fear of success are like bookends which contain the books and subsequent chapters of your life. They establish what you will allow for yourself and what you won't allow. On one hand, fear of failure sets the parameters for what you are willing to do and/or accept in any given situation. Let's take fitness as an example. You have a standard for what physical shape is OK for you to be in. Less than that standard would be a failure in your eyes. If you approach that minimum, fear of failure kicks in to push you to do something about it. In this scenario the fear is here to motivate you to action. Fear of failure can also work in the reverse, in a way that prevents you from taking action. Taking fitness again, there's an ideal you've held for some time. Try as you may that ideal has eluded you. Your efforts have resulted in disappointment after disappointment. In the times you did achieve your goal it didn't last and that hurt. You really worked at reaching this goal and here you are back at square one again. When strong references for hurt or disappointment are in play, fear of failure steps in to say: "Don't even try. Avoid the hassle of the process and the pain of back-sliding in the end. Besides, if you don't try you can't fail." Consequences In the first scenario you're driven by pain. You train yourself to use pain as the fuel for forward progress. Because it works, you ultimately condition a lifetime of the pain-progress cycle. In the second example you begrudgingly accept the way things are and perpetuate them (or make them worse). You fail to make the changes you could make to allow you to have what you really want. The pain around not achieving your desire is still with you, even if only subtly. Fear of success establishes the top end threshold for acceptable achievement. By creating a ceiling it protects you from getting into something over your head. It keeps you from having to live up to higher expectations that might be OK once in awhile but not all the time. It limits your vulnerability and exposure in a new situation. In essence it minimizes your risk. Another typical function of this fear is to keep you from leaving behind people you care about. It could be family members, friends, a spouse or anyone you feel deserves success yet, in spite of all their efforts they've not achieved it. It comes down to an internal question that goes something like: "If they can't have it, why should I be able to?" These fears are not intended to keep you from what you desire. They are put in place to protect you from any potential pain of either getting what you want or not getting what you want. Once truly embraced and understood these fears can literally be released, freeing you up to choose different actions. Summary The 3 ways fear of failure and fear of success set boundaries for your life: 1. Keep you within a confined range (comfort zone) 2. Use pain as leverage 3. Deny access to greater power and potential What's the higher purpose of these fears? 1. Motivate 2. Protect What if you could significantly expand your comfort zone? (Answer these three questions for yourself): 1. Why is that worthwhile? 2. What would become possible? 3. Who will benefit? How? Known for innovative techniques and dramatic results, Deborah has helped thousands achieve their goals and transform their lives. She is architect and lead trainer of the emMatrix System. Her company, Abundant Living Institute, is dedicated to accelerating success and enhancing quality of life for its global clientele. Get her free audio "Deciphering the Emotional Code" here: http://tinyurl.com/yehjde7. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Deborah_Battersby/216107 Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4128580